For the World Sports Awards, you could almost read the Weird Sports Awards.
This was a night where some of the world’s greatest sportsmen and women took part in an event for which the word bizarre was surely designed.
It was almost enough to make Roger Moore, one of the comperes, raise both his eyebrows.
There was no denying that the stars were out in force for the glamorous ceremony.
Crisp black ties and flowing dresses made for an eye-catching scene at the Royal Albert Hall.
World Sports Awards
First held in Austria in 2000
Aims to “transcend all boundaries of race, nationality and creed.”
Run by World Sports Foundation, which gives money to good causes
And American athletes Michael Johnson and Marion Jones led a host of sports stars who were present to collect their prizes - a huge statuesque figure with what appeared to be giant wings.
But somewhere along the line, the organisers appeared to be going down an unusual track.
First, there were the hosts - former James Bond star Roger Moore and German TV presenter Desiree Nosbusch.
Shaken AND stirred
If the aim was for some physical chemistry, it did not happen.
As for Moore, he may have looked good on skis as 007, but would you ever mark him down as a sporting guru?
Sure enough, he looked shaken and stirred as he stumbled over the pronunciation of American baseball side Chicago White Sox.
Nosbusch, meanwhile, tried to keep to the script and not look too embarrassed.
Some 71 sporting journalists from 30 different countries put forward nominations to this the second annual World Sport Awards - the first was held in Austria. An additional vote came from the public via the internet.
The hosts rattled through a total of 75 nominations in 15 categories. And this is where it started to get a little strange.
While there was little room to quibble with the football category, won by Portugal’s Luis Figo, some of the other sections were way off line.
An Italian fencer was among the opposition for Britain’s world heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis, who won the combat sports category.
Five Olympic gold medals were not enough for Sir Steve Redgrave to win the watersports award.
The rower faced four swimmers, and one - Dutchman Peter van den Hoogenband - triumphed.
Even he saw the need to apologise to Redgrave who looked on, slightly perplexed by it all.
Jones and Johnson won the track and field awards - they were not in the athletics section, which boasted a dressage competitor.
Tiger joy
None of the motorsports candidates made it to London, but Germany’s Michael Schumacher was the choice.
Anomalies cropped up everywhere.
American golfer Tiger Woods won the ‘ball sports’ award. He was up against two basketball stars and a pair of tennis players.
How you compare such wildly different activities is anyone’s guess.
But just for added oddness, a former rugby union player - New Zealand’s Sean Fitzpatrick - picked up the award for the absent Woods.
All Saints and Adams
Also missing was Scotland’s mountain runner Angela Mudge, thrust into the limelight with her surprise nomination for the women’s extreme and adventure sports award.
Mudge clearly felt it was much ado about nothing, and chose to holiday in New Zealand instead.
She missed out on the award, and entertainment from pop stars All Saints and Bryan Adams, plus the Canadian circus act Cirque du Soleil.
All Saints, in fact, had to put their much-publicised differences to one side to perform.
Melanie Blatt, Shaznay Lewis, and sisters Nicole and Natalie Appleton, who are widely rumoured to be on the verge of going their separate ways, performed their hit Pure Shores.
Pregnant Nicole Appleton declared her feelings for her boyfriend, Oasis singer Liam Gallagher, by wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the words I Love Liam.
Meanwhile, royalty was drafted in to present some of the honours, with Prince Albert of Monaco and Princess Haza Bint Al-Hussein of Jordan.
Other prize-givers included former astronaut Buzz Aldrin. Well, at least someone had been over the moon.
The prize-giving was terminated with an award for The Terminator.
These things are getting better because people are treating them more seriously
John McEnroe
Yes, you read right. Hollywood actor Arnold Schwarzenegger was honoured for his work with major sports charities.
Boxing legend Muhammad Ali, on the eve of his 59th birthday, accepted the award on Arnie’s behalf.
Moore led the cries of ‘Happy Birthday’ as Ali, who suffers from Parkinson’s Disease, tentatively made his way to the stage to collect the award.
High School productions
And to bring the curtain down, an all-star band including the likes of John McEnroe, Eddie Jordan, Damon Hill and Colin Jackson, belted out a couple of rock numbers.
McEnroe was returning to a much-loved venue where he recently traded tennis blows with old rival Bjorn Borg in a veterans’ tournament.
And he appeared to lap up the proceedings.
“These things are getting better because people are taking them more seriously,” he said afterwards.
“They used to be done in High School auditoriums.”
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